Kabakumba has done women proud!

As usual, Alfredo, our journalist friend, chaired the heated discussion in our bar in Kireka on whether Presidency Minister Kabakumba Masiko should resign after police reportedly discovered her private radio station in Masindi illegally using UBC equipment.

Alfredo: Colleagues, looks like the Iron Lady from Bunyoro is under real heat. Do you think she should go?

Araali: Go where? Those calling for her departure; do they know where she passed to come to Parliament? Are they the appointing authority?

Musoga: So, where did she pass?

Araali: Kabakumba is not the biggest sinner of our times, is she? Only a transmitter and mast? That’s small stuff really. In fact, she should be reprimanded for not going for the big deal. She should have pushed for the sale of the entire UBC and then bought it at one dollar. That would make sense.

Alfredo: (Laughs out loud as he sips a Nile Gold). You mean UBC should have been treated like UCB and Dairy Corporation?

Araali: Yes. Who does not know how much pain UBC caused us when they messed up the live broadcast of the Queen at Parliament during Chogm? That was grounds enough to sell off the thing. And like it was with Chogm, a sole buyer would have been sought and the one-dollar deal sealed.

Masaba: Imagine she is being crucified that her radio was also connected to the UBC power house and her electricity bills were being footed by taxpayers. With this eternal load-shedding what bills were there to pay?

Alfredo: You heard that even the building and microphones could be UBC’s? So, what was hers? Only the carpet and curtains?

Rusaniya (our waitress): For me, the only positive is that finally a woman also gets mentioned in these things. The men were outshining us. From Temangalo to Chogm to LC ghost bikes, the gender balance was lacking. Finally we have something to feel proud about as women!

Araali: Is this not the minister who told us the government has no business feeding starving citizens? She knew what she was talking about.

Musoga: If masts disappeared when she was information minister, what could have disappeared since she became presidency minister? Has anyone checked State House stores? We need to see if everything is intact.

Alfredo: (Prolonged laughter). Musoga stop killing me. I think the President’s food rations are safe. But Kabakumba also, how could she let small police detectives go behind her back and dig up this information? Could she not offer kitu kidogo or flash a letter with State House masthead at them? How can small policemen poke their noses in a minister’s business?

Rusaniya: But I know what her defence will be. It goes. “I have never stolen UBC equipment. What I remember was that in 2009, UBC purchased masts and transmitters that could move from one place to another. Yes, these gadgets had legs. So, one day, these machines just walked all the way from Kampala to Masindi and somehow got stuck in my radio station. I swear!”

(Bar bursts out in laughter)

Masaba: And have we not seen stranger things in this country? One time, a newly-born baby was a major shareholder in an airline firm. And don’t you guys remember when valley dams worth Shs4b were sunk and yet only the minister could see them?

Araali: If the first explanation is not taken, we can expect this one from the party: “Kabakumba is a great mobiliser who has become a target of the opposition and other enemy forces. We pray that the party sticks together and ensures we defeat these enemy forces...”

Alfredo: I know how it will end. The party parliamentary caucus will be summoned. After heated debate, with some members complaining why they also never access free masts and transmitters, it will be agreed that the minister be cautioned and spared. We shall then wait for the next scandal and the cycle is repeated.