Sunday, August 21 2011
Dear Ms Flavia Nabugere Munaaba. Let me begin by congratulating you for that spirited fight you put up in defence of your job when MPs wanted to deny you your fair share of the national cake. It is a pity that your colleagues like John Kakooza and Saleh Kamba were not as lucky. And what do these MPs have about women from your region; do you remember what they did to Ms Kisila Mbeiza?
By the way it is good to see that you are settling in well in your job as State Minister for Environment. There was this small matter of Mabira Forest the other day. I saw the newspapers scream about how you abandoned journalists in the middle of the forest after failing to find the degraded sections, which the President intends to give away to a sugar producing firm to grow sugarcanes.
In the story, they alleged that after close to two hours of touring the forest and trying against all odds to find bare patches of land, you quietly sneaked from the entourage and went to sip hot coffee at the nearby Colline Hotel in Mukono town—probably as you flipped through your notes and ministry policies.
Resultantly, you have been the talk of the town. Numerous callers into radio shows think you could do well in our growing stand-up comedy industry while some suggest that given the lightning manner in which you abandoned the journalists,you could be the gem this country is looking for after Inzikuru hit her peak.
In our kafunda the other night, Alfredo, one of my drink-mates, after a heavy dose of the bitter, could not trace his bottle. He then asked, “Who is doing a Munaaba on me?” Everyone burst out laughing except me.
Yes, I do not understand why there is a hullabaloo over this small matter. First, it is on record that you are no environmentalist. All your career life has been spent administering justice. Your lingua is littered with phrases like prima facie, sub judice, bail and effragranta dericto (Whatever this means ask Lord Mayor Lukwago).
With such serious concerns in life, how does one expect you to differentiate between a forest, a thicket or a bush? I am sure the little time you spent with the journalists in Mabira you were walking on bare ground. Or do these good-for-nothing journalists want us to believe that you did a Harry Potter stunt floating in the air because there was no bare ground?
I am confident that this is the bare ground you alluded to later when you were found at the hotel with your coffee steaming. Others may call it a forest track but truth remains, it is bare. This episode reminds me of a sister of yours.
Some years back, her ministry took billions of shillings to construct valley dams. When a group of nosy MPs visited the north eastern region where these dams were meant to stand, not even those with refractive lenses could see them.
Your no-nonsense sister told them off, saying those who could not see the dams were actually sinners. Why am I convinced that those unable to see degraded land in Mabira could be guilty of similar transgressions?
Some years back, her ministry took billions of shillings to construct valley dams. When a group of nosy MPs visited the north eastern region where these dams were meant to stand, not even those with refractive lenses could see them.
Your no-nonsense sister told them off, saying those who could not see the dams were actually sinners. Why am I convinced that those unable to see degraded land in Mabira could be guilty of similar transgressions?
Also, a Kirekamate was wondering, what if your advance team had mowed a few trees before your team arrived, would that have made your job easier? It is something you can consider in future. Your coffee must be cooling, let me end here.
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