Posted Sunday, September 18 2011 at 00:00
Dear reader, following the chart-busting interview that senior presidential adviser John Nagenda had with Sunday Monitor a fortnight ago, there has been massive demand for a follow-up interview. A Kireka-based journalist called Alfredo did just that and below are excerpts:
Alfredo: Mzee Nagenda, sorry about that...
Nagenda: About what?
Alfredo: About Tamale Mirundi. He says you only pick your monthly cheque for no work.
Nagenda: And what work does Tamale do? Can insulting people and being short of first-class brains be called work?
Alfredo: At least he occasionally takes on Mengo when they become a problem to the government...
Nagenda (interrupts): Young man, have you read Shakespeare’s King Lear?
Alfredo: No sir.
Nagenda: I advise you to read it. There is a character called the Fool. That is Tamale Mirundi for you.
Alfredo: So, back to the issue, is it true that you never see the President even when you are a senior adviser?
Nagenda: Who says advice can only be taken physically? I write emails to the President, at times I SMS him. Once in a while we have done Skype. So, when poor Tamale doesn’t see me at State House, he thinks I am not in touch with the President.
Alfredo: So, what was the last piece of advice you gave the President?
Nagenda (scratches his gray beard): Uhmm let me see. Was that during the 1996 campaigns? I was instrumental in designing the famous Luweero skulls campaign. Did you see how we kicked Kawanga Ssemogerere in the ****? Boy, that was some campaign!
Alfredo: That was in 1996 boss. This is 2011.
Nagenda: Yes, but you must look at this regime as an aggregate. What we did in 1996 bears a lot on what happened in 2011 and might bear a great deal on what happens in 2021.
Alfredo: I am not sure I get that but let’s proceed, back to Tamale Mirundi. The fellow says you were appointed as presidential adviser to have access to fees for your children.
Nagenda: I usually hold my peace when it comes to commenting about people like Tamale. He is part of the group I once labelled the “unwashed of Katanga”. But let me tell you a story. Once, walking down the streets of Kampala, I met a fellow; shirt stained, collar shrivelled, reeking of enguli. The fellow walked to me, pleading: “Nagenda, you of the Queen’s English, please give me some coins. My son is at Makerere University and he needs fees. I know you pick a hefty cheque at State House, you can be of help.” Do you know who that was?
Alfredo: No. But it sounds like another wretched of the earth.
Nagenda: Yes, and that was Tamale Mirundi.
Alfredo: What? This man who ridicules you now took money from you for his son’s fees? Did he pay back?
Nagenda: Do you expect a muyaaye to pay his debts?
Alfredo: That is a new one. Tamale is a muyaaye?
Nagenda: Yes, I find trouble getting an English equivalent, but call him a Loiterer. Some people think he is a chief muyaaye; a Ssabayaaye!
Alfredo (smiling): My editor will love this. Nagenda labels Tamale Ssabayaaye!
Nagenda: And remind your editor I need my cut from the circulation sales (laughs).
Alfredo: What do you think the President makes of these public spats of his handlers?
Nagenda: Have you read Nikolai Gogol’s masterpiece The Government Inspector?
Alfredo: No sir. Literature is not a must for journalism students anymore. I have read a few magazines.
Nagenda: In that play, a young man got stranded in a remote Russian town. Every official mistook him for a senior government operative from the capital. He began seeing each official privately. Besides bribing him, they took turns character assassinating each other. In the end, he turned out a fraud...
Alfredo: What is the moral of the story?
Nagenda: Go figure it out, young man
dwanyama@ug.nationmedia.com
Alfredo: Mzee Nagenda, sorry about that...
Nagenda: About what?
Alfredo: About Tamale Mirundi. He says you only pick your monthly cheque for no work.
Nagenda: And what work does Tamale do? Can insulting people and being short of first-class brains be called work?
Alfredo: At least he occasionally takes on Mengo when they become a problem to the government...
Nagenda (interrupts): Young man, have you read Shakespeare’s King Lear?
Alfredo: No sir.
Nagenda: I advise you to read it. There is a character called the Fool. That is Tamale Mirundi for you.
Alfredo: So, back to the issue, is it true that you never see the President even when you are a senior adviser?
Nagenda: Who says advice can only be taken physically? I write emails to the President, at times I SMS him. Once in a while we have done Skype. So, when poor Tamale doesn’t see me at State House, he thinks I am not in touch with the President.
Alfredo: So, what was the last piece of advice you gave the President?
Nagenda (scratches his gray beard): Uhmm let me see. Was that during the 1996 campaigns? I was instrumental in designing the famous Luweero skulls campaign. Did you see how we kicked Kawanga Ssemogerere in the ****? Boy, that was some campaign!
Alfredo: That was in 1996 boss. This is 2011.
Nagenda: Yes, but you must look at this regime as an aggregate. What we did in 1996 bears a lot on what happened in 2011 and might bear a great deal on what happens in 2021.
Alfredo: I am not sure I get that but let’s proceed, back to Tamale Mirundi. The fellow says you were appointed as presidential adviser to have access to fees for your children.
Nagenda: I usually hold my peace when it comes to commenting about people like Tamale. He is part of the group I once labelled the “unwashed of Katanga”. But let me tell you a story. Once, walking down the streets of Kampala, I met a fellow; shirt stained, collar shrivelled, reeking of enguli. The fellow walked to me, pleading: “Nagenda, you of the Queen’s English, please give me some coins. My son is at Makerere University and he needs fees. I know you pick a hefty cheque at State House, you can be of help.” Do you know who that was?
Alfredo: No. But it sounds like another wretched of the earth.
Nagenda: Yes, and that was Tamale Mirundi.
Alfredo: What? This man who ridicules you now took money from you for his son’s fees? Did he pay back?
Nagenda: Do you expect a muyaaye to pay his debts?
Alfredo: That is a new one. Tamale is a muyaaye?
Nagenda: Yes, I find trouble getting an English equivalent, but call him a Loiterer. Some people think he is a chief muyaaye; a Ssabayaaye!
Alfredo (smiling): My editor will love this. Nagenda labels Tamale Ssabayaaye!
Nagenda: And remind your editor I need my cut from the circulation sales (laughs).
Alfredo: What do you think the President makes of these public spats of his handlers?
Nagenda: Have you read Nikolai Gogol’s masterpiece The Government Inspector?
Alfredo: No sir. Literature is not a must for journalism students anymore. I have read a few magazines.
Nagenda: In that play, a young man got stranded in a remote Russian town. Every official mistook him for a senior government operative from the capital. He began seeing each official privately. Besides bribing him, they took turns character assassinating each other. In the end, he turned out a fraud...
Alfredo: What is the moral of the story?
Nagenda: Go figure it out, young man
dwanyama@ug.nationmedia.com
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